Mature Gentlemen can do this.

Mature.

Men.

On the other hand, child boys and men who are continuously imprisoned in childhood did struggle to be sincere associates with the girls they are drawn to.

To be clear, this weblog is not about a man changing from a close relation to a helpful a with a woman. That’s called a breakdown and deserves distinct concern.

You gentlemen remain true pals with women they want to rest with but haven’t and hasn’t because those women don’t seem to be interested in doing so? is my topic.

( I’m assuming you don’t look fascinated because I’m very certain people are medically programmed to not give up hope, no matter what a girl says or does. )

This site is about males who, like adolescents new to the sexual expertise, haven’t yet learned how to proceed their physical power in healthy ways when among beautiful women, men at the mercy of destination which complicates interactions.

However, there are so many child men stuck in an endless childhood. Several intelligent people have learned to be courteous people as well as genuine mature males in a variety of their existence( such as careers and fatherhood ), but fewer of us actually actually learn how to be mature masculine people in relationships with feminine girls with whom we have strong sexual appeals. Someone see commonalities between baby and US Representatives? Some have not actually reached maturity.

Because of our culture’s juvenile conceptions of what it means to be a person, actual men always win at all costs, follow all the rules, earn lots of money, sleeping with lots of women, have the biggest dick in the room, avoid crying, feeling emotions, or acting weak, etc., most men are stuck in eternal adolescence. As a result, most mature men are deeply confused about what it means to be a good older guy, whether they admit it or not- and of course most doesn’t confess it because that would be a adult thing to do. I have been perplexed for 20 years. And I never even realized it.

That said, here are” 4 aspects of masculine immaturity” that prevent men from being honest friends with women they’re sexually attracted to:

1 ) Men haven’t learned to control their sexual energy without having to deal with it.

Most grown men in our culture, like adolescent boys, are unable to simply be with the potent masculine sexual energy that is coursing through our bodies. So it owns us.

I was born an uncontrollable ravenous shark in a pool filled with tasty guppies, which is what culture taught me from birth. Then, with every erection, I was left to figure out this conundrum, living inside a sexually charged body and putting the bottom in a boat. I was then given two strong conflicting directives: ( a ) eating guppies is a measure of a man’s worth, and ( b ) try not to hurt any guppies.

We deal with the inner turmoil in countless unhealthy ways, including sex it, money it, game it, work it, porn it, drug and alcohol it, TV it, shame it, deny it, or anger it into oblivion, because men can’t be vulnerable to work openly through the resulting confusion. By doing so, we constantly feel disoriented, which is sometimes detrimental to both the women we genuinely love and the people we don’t.

For most of my life, whenever confronted with intense sexual experiences in my body, I would usually choose the easiest of shame, sex or masturbation as my main options for quickly dealing with it. The majority of men never understand this. No one ever taught me how to use my sexual energy in consciously, respectful ways, and how to use it wisely.

As long as a man is owned by his sexual energy, he remains stuck in sexual adolescence. Unfortunately, this type of man is all too prevalent in our society, which encourages attractive, sophisticated women to post slammed public attacks like the one my Facebook friend recently wrote:”…

A man wants to sleep with you if he has a penis. Period. It makes no difference how old he is.

However, when a Man learns to control his sexual energy in a deliberate manner rather than a slave to it, he embodies the definition of what Byron Katie, the author, once said:”

” Just because a man has an erection doesn’t mean he has to do anything with it”.

He can then become close friends with attractive women. If he chooses to.

( read my blog,” Breathing Into ( Untimely ) Sexual Energy” for a simple practice to work with this energy )

2 ) Men are ignorant of the distinctions between true love, romantic love, and sexual energy.

David Deida discusses the three distinct components of the intimate experience in his book, Intimate Communion: love, romance, and polarity ( sexual energy ). Like adolescent teens confused about the rich new experiences happening in their bodies, most men still confuse sexual polarity with romantic love.

You can follow the entire path from lust to love along the planes of a woman’s aerodynamic ass with such an immature man. I’ve come to the conclusion not to trust them. Such lust-love thoughts tempt me all the time in the presence of attractive women. Even so, they’ll say I could genuinely love the woman who is tying those protracted long legs. However, my lizard brain is mostly just a source of mental leakage.

Having lived many years in a man’s body, I can tell you it is fascinating to have witnessed my own experience of what felt like love for a woman essentially vanish in the afterglow of a powerful orgasm. How quickly can sex change a man’s mind from the shallow to the shallow setting of ”ocean-deep loving” is astonishing and disturbing.

Why do you believe that frequent flash-in-the-pan sex leads to short-lasting flash-in-the-pan relationships?

When two people don’t give themselves breathing space, time, to discern what’s really happening between them, they can’t easily see that more often than not that it’s only everyday sexual polarity at play, not genuine romantic love.

We constantly bump into each other in the same way that polarized magnets do. We will naturally feel the pull, of course. But that doesn’t mean we have to act on it.

Unfortunately, many immature men purposefully manipulate women into having sex with this polarity-love conflict. Such immature men irritate women by putting them in their trust.

For us to become mature men, we must learn to distinguish this sexual polarity energy from both romantic love and our deeper authentic love. We must stop turning women into false romances that are only driven by sexual desire. And we must eventually master how to use that sexual energy.

Otherwise it will own us and continue ruining potentially great friendships.

3 ) Most men do not respect women’s boundaries because they do not respect women’s boundaries.

The majority of culture’s rules are clearly made up of adolescent boys and aging toddlers. So we still don’t fully respect most feminine ways of being.

We value immature masculine expressions of competition, rational thought, control and dominance, achievement for the sake of achievement, etc. I don’t even need to provide examples to persuade you that this bias is so fundamental to our world ( think politics, business, military, and war spending, money-driven popular entertainment, billionaire sports athletes and slackers, broken school teachers, paternalistic religions, and on and on ). We place far less value on the feminine gifts of consensus building, intuition and heart-centered thinking, holistic well-being, beauty for its own sake, emotions and vulnerability.

Until we silly men fully honor and understand that feminine wisdom is as essential as masculine wisdom to the healthy functioning of the world, we will not be able to fully respect the boundaries of our hot female friends. We will continue exploiting weakness in their defenses, whether with subtle manipulation or actual violence.

4 ) People are unable to be genuinely vulnerable.

Most men don’t know how to be with awkward feelings and experiences without having to do something ”manly” about them. We are compelled to take whatever action will get us most quickly away from our discomfort. We believe we are supposed to act on our feelings, even if that means forcibly suppressing or drowning them in addictions.

That’s why we typically detest it when ladies scream. We are unsure of a thick ground.

We lack the ability to show uncomfortable principles without striving for perfection. Being resilient is particularly challenging in relationships with women because so much of our value depends on a person’s authorization.

Our unstable preteen personalities cannot take the chance of being rejected by our real interior universes. Which behavior is typical of teenage lads. But we’ll become susceptible and express our feelings to the females we’re with, but we’ll try our hardest to keep the situation under command so that we either get what we want or keep them much enough ahead that they won’t be able to accept us.

Without being truly defenseless, it’s difficult to form authentic friendships. Yet together with other gentlemen.

Imagine a world where people…

Imagine a world where Men could differentiate between sexual energy, romance and pure love; and where he could acknowledge this openly, without shame, to the women in his world who would appreciate his honesty.

Envision a world where people may swallow into their physical power and love their individual arousal without having to do anything with them at all.

Visualize a universe where people regarded the knowledge girls gave.

Imagine a world where men were aware of their deepest truths, joys, and sorrows and could easily share them with women ( and men ) without manipulating the outcome of the sharing.

Doesn’t the guys in this world be extraordinary muscular companions to women? … and spine-tingling romantic lovers, overly!